you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
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