He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
