i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
