At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
