they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
