If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
