Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Is it penis luge time yet?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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