Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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