Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
