"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
