dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
