I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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