YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
