im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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