Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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