Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm at about main and main street
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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