Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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