Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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