Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
