No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize