Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
