please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i barfeds in our rink
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
My orgasm happened in two different decades
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
