she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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