I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
