the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
