found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
