The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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