so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
