No awkward lesbian experiences without me
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
