After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
