my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
