My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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