I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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