Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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