i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm always down for nudity.
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