end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
