this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
