And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
