stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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