We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
