Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
