I puked a lego.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
