No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
time to smoke my breakfast
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
