it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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