singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
