She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
