No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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