no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
