she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
