You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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