Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
