im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
