Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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