I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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