eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
