i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
