I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
