The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
