he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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