think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
