We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
