So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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