I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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