You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize