So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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