u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
