First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
