Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry abileneresendiz hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?

Fav 17 1018 2772
share tweet
(703): View more from Virginia

i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day

Fav 29 6840 930
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(647): View more from Ontario

after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me

Fav 13 3929 1459
share tweet
(507): View more from Minnesota

i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'

Fav 1 2673 1056
share tweet
(720): View more from Colorado

and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.

Fav 21 1430 5199
share tweet
(662): View more from Mississippi

i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up

Fav 5 888 2372
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(940): View more from Texas

Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?

Fav 6 1348 715
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Will you skip merrily into hell with me?

Fav 3 152 15
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(417): View more from Missouri

He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.

Fav 0 39 28
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT